What Should I Do If My Child Is A Bully?

According to Stacy DeBroff, if you receive word that your child has been bullying others, be honest with yourself. Even though your first reaction will probably be to protect your child, don't blame the other children or the person who brought the bullying incident to your attention. If your child has been a ting aggressively or violently, you want to put an end to that behavior as soon as possible so your child can learn to control their actions and interact positively with other children.

Often, parents of bullies simply consider their child a "leader", and fail to consider the implication of their child's action. If the teacher tells you your child got into a fight with another child, you have long and difficult investigation before you. Ask how the fight started and whether she witnessed the event or heard about it secondhand. Get a feel for the classroom climate and find out if there is something that seems to spark your child's inappropriate behavior. Consider why your child has developed aggressive behavior. Is it low self-esteem, academic problems, or problems controlling emotions, or does your child have a lack of social skills. If you feel that this may be a possibility, check into counseling to work out the underlying issues so your child can find success socially.

Let your child know that bullying is unacceptable. Brainstorm with your child and come up with more constructive ways to respond to problems. Look at your child's peer interaction outside of school and at home. Pay close attention to the way they treat siblings. Listen to how they talk about their friends and note whether he belittles or mocks others. If you are brave, talk to other parents, especially your child's friends, and ask them to honestly share with you any concerns they may have.

If you child's behavior warrants discipline, think carefully before choosing the punishment. Yelling will only encourage aggressive behavior. Try to come up with a constructive punishment, such as canceling play time until you see changes in behavior. Cut down on your child's freedom until they show the behavioral changes you want. Make sure if your child has hurt someone, make your child write an apology letter. Review it ti make sure it expresses true remorse and an understanding of the actions. Lastly, consider enrolling your child in a conflict resolution, friendship skills, anger management, or self-defense course to help manage emotions and reactions.