Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Tip 12: Don't Be Too Hard or Controlling

The parent that is too easy or not consistent with discipline usually has a lot of problems keeping their child under control. The type of parent we will look at today is the parent that is too harsh in punishing their child and are very controlling.

Tip #12: Don't be too hard or controlling as far as disciplining your child.

1. A parent that is too harsh or controlling has the child afraid to say or do anything. The child usually obeys the parent only out of fear, not because it is the right thing to do.
2. The parent usually makes all the decisions for the child and the child's opinion is not heard nor does it matter.
3. A very controlling parent usually has harsh consequences and will sometimes embarrasses the child in front of others.
4. This parent that disciplines too hard usually punishes and reacts while angry. There can even be physical and/or mental abuse in some cases.
5. The controlling parent a lot of the time has unrealistic expectations for their child and will punish harshly if expectations are not met or fall short. It is hard for the child to satisfy or make the parent happy.
6. This type of harsh discipline invites rebellion and unhappiness. Many times when the child is a young adult and out of sight of the controlling parent they go wild and make unwise decisions because they are not use to thinking for themselves.
7. Children who are treated harshly many times are mean and angry. Sometimes they have problems making friends and can be known as bullies.

As a result of being to harsh and controlling, the child can be rebellious, angry, and unhappy. Make sure you're not controlling your child through fear and anger. 


Anonymous August 28, 2011 at 2:12 PM  

I like your 13 tips, but, I feel like I would really benefit from specific examples. I would like a hypothetical scenario.

I enjoy your blog, but, I feel that it would be much more helpful, if for all of your posts (I know this is a big request), you gave a concrete example. For example, "if a parent and a child have an argument, then the parent should take control and discipline the child appropriately", is not a concrete example because the subject of the argument and the discipline is unknown. I'd like to see more of an example like this one: John wanted a book from the top shelf in his father's room. But his father told him previously not to go into his fathers room. Nevertheless John went into his father's room to get the book. In response, John's father disciplined John with a time-out for 15 minutes."

I feel like a concrete example would help me to relate what you're saying to something I've actually experienced.

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